4 Ways to Handle Disappointment with Grace and like a Boss
You’re in a meeting. You’re killing it. You pitch your idea with flawless delivery. Your highest self is at the table.
“Sorry, this won’t work for us,” they respond.
You suddenly feel rejected, exposed and completely let down. What if I told you that what you do NEXT, is more important than the actual pitch?
This is an inside talk. This is family, and as always, we’re going to keep it very real.
1. Don’t Lose your Cool
Defensiveness is a reaction that can make even the most powerful people look weak. Your first move is to always lead with understanding. “You know, I understand where you’re coming from. I felt the same way myself at one point— but what I found was…” We are programmed to prove ourselves right— it’s a natural, human instinct. Therefore, if you have the inner strength to resist this and cater to the other persons need to be right through genuine understanding, you will always have the upper hand and better position yourself to get what you want. If any of you have ever been broken up with, and by the grace of GOD was able to play it calm and cool, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about here. Keep it together and people will go crazy wondering why you’re not falling apart.
2. Ask Questions that get you Closer to the Truth
Most people assume they understand situations better than they actually do. We jump to conclusions based on our interpretation of what is happening. The challenge with this is that we see reality through our own filters. The best way to avoid this is by asking qualifying questions. “I completely understand. How could I make it something that you’d be excited about?” It is an amazing thing when someone paints you a picture of exactly what they want. Do not guess what people want. Instead, ask, and you will instantly put yourself into a leveraged position.
3. Your Voice and Body Matter
When feeling shut down, it is easy to let your body and voice follow in suit. My advice? Resist, resist, resist. The first step to this is realizing how you feel and consciously making an effort to go against yourself and stay poised. Slightly nodding your head ‘yes’ is a wonderful trick. Keep your disposition positive, as if you are looking for a common solution and wearing the same jersey (where my #24’s at!). Sit up tall. Speak slowly, with intent, and avoid filler words such as “like” and “um.” It is in this moment that you have the opportunity to be seen as an equal who is in complete control of him or herself.
4. Use it to Fuel and Motivate you
It is in the moments where everything goes wrong, that people are watching to see how you’ll respond. Leaders are born in adversary and use the word ‘no’ as a mere suggestion. If you let setbacks define you, your life will be filled with a lot of average moments that were almost great. PERSEVERE. Get through it with grace and your head up. Every time anyone tells you no, or chooses to not believe in you, think to yourself, “I can’t wait to prove you wrong.” Some of my greatest accomplishments have come because I was pissed enough to make them happen. Controlled anger is a powerful emotion— use it effectively.
If you forget all of this, just be like Beyonce.
Founder, The Kindly Coveted